Category: Trust

In the year King Uzziah died

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I requested my friends to give me a verse and I would assign them a week for me to study the verse and pray it over their life. This week the verse is Isaiah 6:1:

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple.

I am not sure about you, but I am not a Bible scholar. When I read this verse, I really didn’t get much from it so I needed to find out what Isaiah meant by those words. Reading scripture can often be intimidating and often confusing. I believe that the Bible is God-breathed. Yes, imperfect humans penned it, but the Spirit of God inspired the words. Since I am not a Bible scholar, I have commentaries from those who are.

Here are the words from The Tony Evans Bible Commentary. I pray they bring this verse to life and when you read it, it will remind you of this powerful lesson.

“Here we see the prophet’s life-changing vision of God’s overwhelming holiness and his call to ministry. It was a very crucial point in the history of Judah. In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a high and lofty throne, and the hem of his robe filled the temple. So although Judah was experiencing turmoil at the death of its king, the true King was seated on his throne in sovereign glory. Isaiah thus learned that the kingdom of God operates according to his will, not according to outward circumstances. If you embrace this kingdom principle, it will change your life.” (page 639)

Dr. Evans continues to say; “Sometimes it takes a tragedy in our lives, or other negative circumstances, for us to truly see God. We may know him as our Savior but not be growing in a day-by-day experience of adopting his perspective of the world and living in obedience to it. In fact, that’s one reason God sometimes allows difficult situations to come into our lives. They help shift our focus off the created things and onto the Creator. Until we adjust our vision from the temporal to the eternal, we may miss out on seeing the eternal altogether. God is not merely interested in getting us to heaven. He wants us to see and experience him here. Sometimes God is most clearly seen in the midst of painful situations.” (page 640)

Studying this verse and discovering this explanation is a real-life application of what Dr. Evans is saying. It isn’t sufficient to just accept Jesus as our Savior. We are given His word in the form of the Bible as a guide for us to “experience him here”. I encourage you to not skip over verses such as Isaiah 6:1 as simply a colorful description of what Isaiah saw, but dig deeper into why it was included at all. The greatest lessons in life often require some exploration on our part. Don’t miss out on what the Lord God has to say to you in His Word today!

Thanks to Dr. Delight Yokley who gave me this verse to study. May you continue to grow in the knowledge and assurance of how precious you are to God and to us, your friends!

Abundance

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Sometime late last year, Jenny, a dear friend of mine prayed abundance over my life. The word stirred something in me. I felt honored, but also undeserving. As a someone who has suffered from complex trauma, I have a hard time receiving compliments or any accolades for that matter. But for some reason, this word has stayed with me.

Towards the end of the year, I was introduced to a special way of praying for my friends. I would ask 52 friends to provide with a verse. I would then randomly assign each friend one week of the year to pray over them. Only a few weeks into the year and I have my prayer calendar filled through May. It’s a pretty ingenious idea.

Because I love definitions, every day of the week, I read the particular verse and study the particular word that pops out to me. This week, the verse is John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly”.

In yesterday’s post, I talked about the word “thief” and how, depending on the reader, the word can take on different meanings. The same can be said for “abundantly”.

By definition, abundantly means “in large quantities; plentifully”. Not satisfied with that definition, I turned to my Tony Evans Bible Commentary and gleaned the wonderful definition: to be fulfilled in His spirit, His blessings, and His purpose in my earthly life.

When Jenny prayed the word abundance over my life, she was not praying for extravagance (in case you are curious of its meaning; lack of restraint in spending money or use of resources) as some could interpret the word abundance to mean. Specifically she was praying for the day when the cost of living wouldn’t be a burden.

God desires the same for us! Tony Evans says it best. “Jesus doesn’t want you merely to possess eternal life but also to possess the full experience of life. Following the Shepherd leads to blessing and joy and a growing experience of eternal life. It allows Him to rebuke and reverse the enemy’s attempts at blocking the blessings, purpose, and spiritual fulfillment God has for your life.”

So, yes, I/you don’t deserve to live extravagantly, but because of Jesus, we are called to live abundantly!

The Right Prescription

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I remember packing up our childhood home and finding the tiniest glasses of mine. It was proof to me that I have worn glasses most of my life. Without them, I am not blind, but the world is a lot fuzzier.

Several years ago, after many years of not having insurance, I started a new job that included health insurance. As soon as I was eligible, I made an appointment for an eye exam. I knew I needed a new prescription, but it wasn’t until I put on my new prescription was when I became aware of how bad I needed the adjustment. It was like I was seeing the world with new eyes.

Since then, I have never missed my annual eye exam. I have learned that even in the short time of a year, our vision can change dramatically. Unfortunately, because it is often a slow change, we don’t notice it. We ignore the subtle symptoms that aren’t relieved until we put on the glasses with an updated prescription.

The Lord has been revealing to me that as my physical vision changes so does my spiritual vision. As we grow and draw near to our Abba Father, we must update our spiritual glasses. Just like the glasses I had as a child wouldn’t work for me now, the glasses I used to see the world as a child should not be the same glasses I should see the world now.

This past year and a half with a pandemic and the raw exposure of the continued racial injustice in our world, I don’t know how any of us can see the world with the same glasses. For me it has been not only an emotional awakening, but it has been a spiritual awakening. Thank God for finding the right prescription.

Pesky Gnats

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Among the several things and people I pray for, my daily prayer for years has been (in no particular order) for finances, Jake, general anxieties, and ETA of my husband. As I journaled this morning, the Lord took over my pen and wrote these words to me. My prayer is they are an encouragement to you as well:

“You don’t trust Me enough to guide your heart. Trust Me in all things. Trust Me to take care of Jake. Trust Me to protect you in the car. Trust Me to provide for you in so many more ways than food or rent. Trust Me to protect your heart and your mind. There are tons of things you covet in your mind. Help Me as we both, together, fight the thoughts that enter your mind. You are so weak mentally. There is no type of protection over your mind. The anxiety you have, the lust you allow, it is because you haven’t given Me your mind. Your husband won’t come until you give Me your mind.

I love you and the plans I have for you and your husband are wonderful! Way more grand than you could ever comprehend. I am excited for you to meet, fall in love with Me as a couple, and walk on the beautiful and hard terrain I have for you, but you need to be ready to walk that road. You need to prepare now so you won’t fall later. You are My beloved. It hurts Me when you fall, when you allow such things to control what you see and what you do. That is not of Me.

I give you desires for you to control not for them to control you. Those desires are a reminder that I have not forgotten you. But I also know a deeper desire is to follow Me, to do as I have designed for you.

Fear. That thought that just came into your mind that you aren’t good enough; that you can’t do it. See how we caught that thought like a gnat flying around? We can catch it and kill it or we just swat it enough for it to fly away for it to come back at some point. Sometimes you think you have killed it, but you weren’t even close. Don’t let the gnat or the thought of it returning distract you.

Let Me handle the gnats of your mind.”

I pray you are able to identify the gnats in your mind!

But God…

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I was recently reminded that often when we are tested and tempted, it could be a sign that a reward for our faithfulness could be right around the corner. That with God and the Holy Spirit within us, there is always victory no matter how often we doubt and stumble.

She awaited the revelation, the appointed time, which spoke of the end and would not be proven false. Though it lingered, she waited for it because she knew it would certainly come and would not delay[1]. She had always prayed for falsehood and lies to be kept from her; she wanted neither poverty nor riches, but only her daily bread. Because she knew if she had too much she would disown her God. Or too little, she would steal and dishonor His name [2]. Yet she sat alone looking out the window, thinking, longing, “Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish? In Your love You kept me from the pit of destruction; You have put all my sins behind Your back”[3].

He reminded her that He knew her deeds, her love and faith, her service and perseverance, and that she was now doing more than she did at first[4]. “Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach; for I am your Maker, your Husband”[5]. Though once comforting, His words now seemed distant, unattainable. Knowing her heart so well, He continued, “forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you now perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland”[6].

His words reminded her that He was faithful to all of His promises and loving toward all He has made. He was near to all who called on Him[7]. That if she delighted herself in Him, He would delight in her ways and make her steps firm. Though she stumbled, He would not fail her and give her the desires of her heart[8].

In her anguish, she cried out to the Lord and He answered by setting her free[9]. She then knew that if she only put her hope in Him, her strength and her spirit would always be renewed[10]. For perhaps the reason they were separated for this short while, was that they may be together forever[11].

[1] Habakkuk 2:3
[2] Proverbs 30:8-9
[3] Isaiah 38:17
[4] Revelation 2:19
[5] Isaiah 54:4-5
[6] Isaiah 43:18-19
[7] Psalms 145:13, 18
[8] Psalms 37:4, 23-24
[9] Psalms 118:5
[10] Isaiah 40:31
[11] Philemon 15

Changing My Heart

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“Sometimes God doesn’t change your situation because He’s trying to change your heart”

Ever hear words that cut so deep into your heart, it takes your breath away? That is how I felt when I read this quote today. I have heard it before, but where I am in my life at this moment, they are the exact words I needed to hear so I could stop playing the victim…

As far back as I could remember, I have never had enough to pay my bills. At times it was because I would manage the money given to me incorrectly and selfishly. When I made an offering to the church, it was not my first fruits and I did not give it with a cheerful heart. It was such a burden for me to give to the church because they had plenty of it and I “needed” it more than they did.

It was not until a few months ago that I confessed to a friend of mine how tired I am of the constant financial struggle I am in. I let her know that I was just tired of being poor. Her question to me was “is it a sin issue?” I immediately responded “of course, it is.”

Money has always been my nemesis. I never have enough of it. I live beyond my means. I struggle with being a good steward with the provision God has given me. The parable of the talents in Matthew 25 teaches how we need to be good steward even with the little we may have. This was (and unfortunately still is) a major sin issue in my life.

Since that conversation just a few months ago, I have been pretty consistent with my tithing. It s the first fruit of my labor and although still difficult to part with that percentage since I could definitely use it, I choose to be obedient and trust God to bless me for it.

As Jake and I prepare to move to another city not to far from here, I am feeling the constrictions of my financial status becoming quite overwhelming. It is like this chapter can’t close soon enough. This week, especially, has been extremely difficult for me to bear. I find myself in a sinking pit of despair and depression; not seeing light through the drowning mud. Prayer, Scripture, worship, nothing seems to help. I know that there is a greater purpose for this, but I do not want any part of it. I know God has provided in the past, but could He just provide just once and for all and let me be? Then through the darkness, through the mud, I see those words: “Sometimes God doesn’t change your situation because He’s trying to change your heart.” 

Once again I am reminded that although I have done good for a short while, it doesn’t mean I will always be good. I am reminded that my strength and my faith are not as strong as I believe them to be. I do not trust Him enough to provide when I need it. I do not trust Him to keep me from the darkest pits. I simply do not trust His love for me. And yet His love for me has never changed.

He continues to see the woman He created me to be. He sees the woman I will one day be. He sees the desire of my heart to follow Him wholeheartedly. He sees nothing else. He is not discouraged by the long, hard road because the destination is far too amazing to be overshadowed by the cares of today. He is using this situation, this struggle, this season of my life to change my heart. His love for me is far too grand for Him to allow me to remain as I am.

I am not all better. I am still angry, frustrated and tired of this financial state I am still in, but I am recognizing that I will remain here until my heart has indeed changed. And by my attitude and short temper, I have a long way to go.

Endurance for the Long Journey

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The promises You have laid before me, Father, have required much of me. When I first accepted this journey, I was eager and excited. As of late, the length of the journey has left me exhausted and resistant to continue.  All I see before me is an endless sea with no land in sight. Yet, I look back and You remind me how far we have traveled and it stirs my heart to continue. Your words, your love, give me comfort. I may be exhausted, unmotivated, and often plain lazy, but search my heart and know that my desire is to follow You until the ends of the earth.

In the midst of this journey, I will rest on the promises of Your Words to me:

 When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; 
    he brought me into a spacious place. ~ Psalm 118:5

Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
    give me neither poverty nor riches,
    but give me only my daily bread.
 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
    and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’
Or I may become poor and steal,
    and so dishonor the name of my God. ~ Proverbs 30:8-9

I know your deeds,
     your love and faith,
     your service and perseverance,
     and that you are now doing more than you did at first. ~ Revelation 2:19

For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
    it speaks of the end
    and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
    it will certainly come
    and will not delay. ~ Habakkuk 2:3

Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland. ~ Isaiah 43:18-19

Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while
     was that you might have him back forever~ Philemon 1:15

 

The Gift

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For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!

She laid in her bed, waiting for him to wake up. It had been years since she had this feeling. The first time in a long time she was anxious for Christmas morning to arrive. Would he like his presents? Would they fit? Would he get swept up in the material things and forget all they had learned the past few years? 

She couldn’t wait any longer. It was 7:30 a.m., plenty of “sleeping in” time. She ran into his room shouting “It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!” “Mother” he groaned.  While he slowly got up, dressed, brushed his teeth, she paced in the hall. Finally! He walked into the living room.

He gathered “the boys” (aka the cats) and opened their gift first. They were just as pleased with the wrapping paper than the actual gift. He then gave her the gifts he had gotten for her. She was with him when he purchased them, so it wasn’t a surprised, but that didn’t stop her from acting otherwise.

One by one he opened his gifts. His excitement filled her heart with joy and humility. There was no way she would be able to have done any of this if it wasn’t for her Heavenly Father prompting others to provide the means. It was simply overwhelming, yet her heart was still heavy.

As the last gift was opened and “the boys” played in their new playground of boxes and wrapping paper, she asked him to pray with her; he opened, she closed. His words were simple, but appreciative. Of course, he was grateful for the gifts, but he seemed more grateful for the many Blessings His Heavenly Father had showered them with, especially their precious Savior. On this glorious morn, filled with wanted, yet unnecessary material gifts, he had remembered to be thankful for the Giver not just the gifts.

She had taught him right, but why was her heart still heavy? There was still a deep longing for something more. Like the gifts she had received which could not be wrapped or placed under a tree, she longed for the one tangible gift her heart desired.  She was confident it was still yet to come for she had been showered with glimpses of a future filled with fulfillment, laughter, and love. Nevertheless this was not the year she would receive it.

As the day continued, the emotions of the gifts received (and those not yet received) had subsided, but the joy in their hearts remained. For the gifts unwrapped today, those of yesterday and even those yet to come could not compare to the gift that was given to them many years ago in the little town of Bethlehem when a King, their Savior, was born; The Greatest Gift of all!

All I Could Ever Ask For

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The past couple of years I have written a post commemorating Jake on his birthday. This year, I had the privilege of commemorating him in my speech class. Below is the speech I presented just a few days after his 15th birthday.

I remember the exact moment I fell in love. It was 9:11 a.m. on Thursday, November 12, 1998. Prior to that moment, I had no concept of what true love was. Yet, the moment my baby boy was placed in my arms, I was immediately overwhelmed by it.

When the nurse took him to check his vitals, he began to cry. My mama bear instincts kicked in and all I wanted to do was hurt that nurse. My baby boy is now 15 years old and as 3 John 1:4 states “I have no greater joy than to hear that my [son is] walking in the truth.

The road we have traveled has not been easy. He could have easily chosen the path paved with lies, fears, insecurities, and self-destruction, but he has chosen another path. Despite all my son has witnessed, on Monday, October 27, 2008, he chose to walk in the Truth of Jesus Christ. Since then, my son has not only grown physically, but emotionally, and spiritually, as well, in ways this mother could only dream of.

Now, just because he chose to follow the Lord at a young age, my child is far from perfect; after all he is a teenager. He has this gift of pushing my buttons, holding his finger on them until he sees I am about to burst. And everything I ask him to do is a huge inconvenience.

I remember him telling me for months that we did not have to spend an entire summer in Guatemala. He had never been there and had no desire to go. Even at the airport in Miami as we waited for our connecting flight, he would say “Mother, we can still turn around.” But no matter how strong his desire not to go was, something inside of him was telling him that he needed to go.

During one of the lowest points of our trip, while reading the Bible, he read the words of Habakkuk 2:3, “For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.” It was like a light bulb went off. At that moment, my son, at the age of 13, believed and held on to those words, trusting the Lord did have something in store for us.

Without fail, just 2 weeks later, this same young man was telling me with absolute certainty that we were moving to Alabama. The child who kept telling me “Mother, we can still turn around” was saying we had to move to a town we only knew existed for 3 days, in a state we had never been to. How the tables had turned; my son was now challenging me to do something I did not want to do, but knew we had to. By the end of our 8 weeks in Guatemala, he had grown 3 inches, his signature long hair was gone and a young man emerged.

John Eldredge, in his book Wild at Heart, mentions that at the core of every man there are three desires; a battle to fight for, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. My son had officially begun his journey into manhood. I suddenly began to see his desire to be the hero in his own little world, slay dragons, and one day rescue his very own damsel in distress.

I had no idea what a good man was supposed to look like, let alone a hero. After all when I saw my son, all I saw was my baby. Then I heard a song by Shane and Shane that said “I wish that I could be your everything. Be the one to give you all the things you need, but sometimes I’m going to let you down. There’s someone if you just believe, who will be your hero like he’s always been for me. Darling, Jesus is the one you need.” I suddenly knew what I needed to do. I needed to continuously direct my son to the One who “knit him in my womb” and has “great plans for him” as the Bible describes.

I would like to leave you with the words of my son’s favorite verse, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes” (Romans 1:16). If the past few years are any indication of what is to come, this young man, my young man, Jake Anthony Tsakos, will continue to prove that God still speaks to and works through anyone who is available, no matter their age or circumstance.

Last night, Jake and I were talking about how much we both don’t like being in Alabama, but we agreed this is where the Lord has us for now. Jake continued by saying that it is great that I am able to go to school, but he knows we are here for him. He said he believed that he wouldn’t be “this strong” if we were still living in Florida. I knew he was referring to his spiritual strength and I was taken back to the moment I held him in my arms for the first time. Except now, I was overwhelmed with love and pride for the young man I was seeing before me. Happy Birthday, Baby! I love you!

Never Ceasing to Amaze

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Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor [Trouble] a door of hope. There she will respond [sing] as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. – Hosea 2:14-15

I have once again fallen, my Lord. Fallen away from You and instead of leaving me to rot, You have lifted me up, [once again] washed me with the blood of Jesus, and caused me to sing as I did in the days of my youth and innocence. You will never desert me. You will never be disgusted or ashamed of me. You are proud to call me Your own.

You transform my valley of trouble into a door of hope. Yet, as You take me by the hand and guide me into the wilderness I expect words of reproach, but instead You speak tenderly to me returning to me what I have so frivolously given away. Thank You for loving me as You do! You can take the worst places and turn them into beauty. After so many times of running away from You, You still continue to allure me back into Your arms. I praise you for mercy that never ceases nor never ceases to amaze me! You are my One True Love!