But God…

I was recently reminded that often when we are tested and tempted, it could be a sign that a reward for our faithfulness could be right around the corner. That with God and the Holy Spirit within us, there is always victory no matter how often we doubt and stumble.

She awaited the revelation, the appointed time, which spoke of the end and would not be proven false. Though it lingered, she waited for it because she knew it would certainly come and would not delay[1]. She had always prayed for falsehood and lies to be kept from her; she wanted neither poverty nor riches, but only her daily bread. Because she knew if she had too much she would disown her God. Or too little, she would steal and dishonor His name [2]. Yet she sat alone looking out the window, thinking, longing, “Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish? In Your love You kept me from the pit of destruction; You have put all my sins behind Your back”[3].

He reminded her that He knew her deeds, her love and faith, her service and perseverance, and that she was now doing more than she did at first[4]. “Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach; for I am your Maker, your Husband”[5]. Though once comforting, His words now seemed distant, unattainable. Knowing her heart so well, He continued, “forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you now perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland”[6].

His words reminded her that He was faithful to all of His promises and loving toward all He has made. He was near to all who called on Him[7]. That if she delighted herself in Him, He would delight in her ways and make her steps firm. Though she stumbled, He would not fail her and give her the desires of her heart[8].

In her anguish, she cried out to the Lord and He answered by setting her free[9]. She then knew that if she only put her hope in Him, her strength and her spirit would always be renewed[10]. For perhaps the reason they were separated for this short while, was that they may be together forever[11].

[1] Habakkuk 2:3
[2] Proverbs 30:8-9
[3] Isaiah 38:17
[4] Revelation 2:19
[5] Isaiah 54:4-5
[6] Isaiah 43:18-19
[7] Psalms 145:13, 18
[8] Psalms 37:4, 23-24
[9] Psalms 118:5
[10] Isaiah 40:31
[11] Philemon 15


The house is finally quiet, peaceful. Dirty dishes, toys, shoes, and other signs of joy and life are scattered throughout. The day and week have been long. The kids have finally asleep in their beds.  I rest in my husband’s arms before tackling a messy home; he my helper as I am his. Tonight, this is what my heart longs for.

As my imagination runs wild with such detail, I am reminded that such longing was designed by my Father. He placed this desire to be united with the man He has created for me. This desire was to be a reminder of the deep desire He has to be eternally united with me. Unfortunately, the reminder has been tainted, transformed into a replacement and become the “destination” for so many (including myself at times).

Marriage was meant to mirror the relationship between Christ and His people. As a bride longs for her groom, our hearts should ache to be with Him. The pure exhilaration of being carried over the Heavenly Threshold in the arms of our Beloved is the truest manifestation of our heart’s deepest desire. No matter how much we try to masquerade it with earthly replicas, it can never be matched.

I admit I long for the day that I am able to rest in my husband’s arms, but I more so yearn for the day when I am able to eternally rest in my Heavenly Groom’s arms.


I finished a journal this morning. It depends on the number of pages and the season of my life I am in, but a journal normally lasts me about 6-8 months. Since last May, I have gone through 3. It has been an eventful 12 months to say the least.

I’ve been journaling for years. I just really enjoy writing and as of late, I find myself with different writing outlets; 4 to be exact. There is the FB status for the quick thoughts that pop in my mind, this blog for what I hope to be thought- provoking insights to my walk with the Lord, my journal for my deepest thoughts and prayers, and finally daily entries I write on my computer to my husband. Yes, I write to my husband everyday even though I am not yet married. I am just practicing to be the communicative, faithful and loving wife I hope to be someday.

Writing gives me an outlet to speak what is in my heart and for my God to speak to me. My favorite kind of writing is when I write out a conversation with the Lord. At the beginning I find myself just writing what I feel and when I look back to read what I have written, I see they were His words through my fingers. It is an exhilarating feeling to know my Heavenly Father is so closely with me. Other times, I just find myself rambling on (like this time, I think), but eventually something great comes out (I hope).

Everytime, however, I do my best to write what my heart is saying to whomever the audience may be; myself, you, my God, or my future husband. You see no matter who the audience is, I never physically see them, but I know they are there and I hope from my words, they know they are always in my thoughts, prayers, and heart…and I will never stop writing to you!

500 Miles

“But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more. Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door.” That was the song on the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy, where Kepner, the re-virginized surgeon, was proposed to by her paramedic boyfriend in this whole song and dance scene. I was mesmerized the entire time. What is with girls and cheesy marriage proposals? Most of us melt at them. I guess it’s because it shows that your man is willing to make a fool of himself for you…and, boy, how do we love the fools!

As much as many of us try to negate it, God made the woman’s heart attracted to things more emotional. We do a lot because of our feelings. Sometimes that is bad, but if we allow God to drive our emotions, it can be so amazing!!

God is very emotional. Throughout the Bible, He speaks of His love for us. It’s the ultimate love story. He finds her (us), she falls for Him, but for one reason or another, cannot fully accept the love He has for her, so she runs. And as the true Romantic that He is, He pursues her…Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. “In that day,” declares the LORD, “you will call me ‘my husband’; you will no longer call me ‘my master’ (Hosea 2:14-16). Doesn’t that sound incredibly amazing??

I know Grey’s Anatomy has some great writers because I keep watching week after week, but the Writer of my love story is a whole lot better! And I can’t wait to see what He has in store for me in the seasons to come, but in the meantime, I will bask in the One who would (and has) walked 500 miles and 500 more for me!!