Pesky Gnats

Among the several things and people I pray for, my daily prayer for years has been (in no particular order) for finances, Jake, general anxieties, and ETA of my husband. As I journaled this morning, the Lord took over my pen and wrote these words to me. My prayer is they are an encouragement to you as well:

“You don’t trust Me enough to guide your heart. Trust Me in all things. Trust Me to take care of Jake. Trust Me to protect you in the car. Trust Me to provide for you in so many more ways than food or rent. Trust Me to protect your heart and your mind. There are tons of things you covet in your mind. Help Me as we both, together, fight the thoughts that enter your mind. You are so weak mentally. There is no type of protection over your mind. The anxiety you have, the lust you allow, it is because you haven’t given Me your mind. Your husband won’t come until you give Me your mind.

I love you and the plans I have for you and your husband are wonderful! Way more grand than you could ever comprehend. I am excited for you to meet, fall in love with Me as a couple, and walk on the beautiful and hard terrain I have for you, but you need to be ready to walk that road. You need to prepare now so you won’t fall later. You are My beloved. It hurts Me when you fall, when you allow such things to control what you see and what you do. That is not of Me.

I give you desires for you to control not for them to control you. Those desires are a reminder that I have not forgotten you. But I also know a deeper desire is to follow Me, to do as I have designed for you.

Fear. That thought that just came into your mind that you aren’t good enough; that you can’t do it. See how we caught that thought like a gnat flying around? We can catch it and kill it or we just swat it enough for it to fly away for it to come back at some point. Sometimes you think you have killed it, but you weren’t even close. Don’t let the gnat or the thought of it returning distract you.

Let Me handle the gnats of your mind.”

I pray you are able to identify the gnats in your mind!

But God…

I was recently reminded that often when we are tested and tempted, it could be a sign that a reward for our faithfulness could be right around the corner. That with God and the Holy Spirit within us, there is always victory no matter how often we doubt and stumble.

She awaited the revelation, the appointed time, which spoke of the end and would not be proven false. Though it lingered, she waited for it because she knew it would certainly come and would not delay[1]. She had always prayed for falsehood and lies to be kept from her; she wanted neither poverty nor riches, but only her daily bread. Because she knew if she had too much she would disown her God. Or too little, she would steal and dishonor His name [2]. Yet she sat alone looking out the window, thinking, longing, “Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish? In Your love You kept me from the pit of destruction; You have put all my sins behind Your back”[3].

He reminded her that He knew her deeds, her love and faith, her service and perseverance, and that she was now doing more than she did at first[4]. “Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach; for I am your Maker, your Husband”[5]. Though once comforting, His words now seemed distant, unattainable. Knowing her heart so well, He continued, “forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you now perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland”[6].

His words reminded her that He was faithful to all of His promises and loving toward all He has made. He was near to all who called on Him[7]. That if she delighted herself in Him, He would delight in her ways and make her steps firm. Though she stumbled, He would not fail her and give her the desires of her heart[8].

In her anguish, she cried out to the Lord and He answered by setting her free[9]. She then knew that if she only put her hope in Him, her strength and her spirit would always be renewed[10]. For perhaps the reason they were separated for this short while, was that they may be together forever[11].

[1] Habakkuk 2:3
[2] Proverbs 30:8-9
[3] Isaiah 38:17
[4] Revelation 2:19
[5] Isaiah 54:4-5
[6] Isaiah 43:18-19
[7] Psalms 145:13, 18
[8] Psalms 37:4, 23-24
[9] Psalms 118:5
[10] Isaiah 40:31
[11] Philemon 15

Endurance for the Long Journey

The promises You have laid before me, Father, have required much of me. When I first accepted this journey, I was eager and excited. As of late, the length of the journey has left me exhausted and resistant to continue.  All I see before me is an endless sea with no land in sight. Yet, I look back and You remind me how far we have traveled and it stirs my heart to continue. Your words, your love, give me comfort. I may be exhausted, unmotivated, and often plain lazy, but search my heart and know that my desire is to follow You until the ends of the earth.

In the midst of this journey, I will rest on the promises of Your Words to me:

 When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord
    he brought me into a spacious place. ~ Psalm 118:5

Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
    give me neither poverty nor riches,
    but give me only my daily bread.
 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
    and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’
Or I may become poor and steal,
    and so dishonor the name of my God. ~ Proverbs 30:8-9

I know your deeds,
     your love and faith,
     your service and perseverance,
     and that you are now doing more than you did at first. ~ Revelation 2:19

For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
    it speaks of the end
    and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
    it will certainly come
    and will not delay. ~ Habakkuk 2:3

Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland. ~ Isaiah 43:18-19

Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while
     was that you might have him back forever~ Philemon 1:15


Shelter from the Storm

The storm raged. The rain poured. The thunder roared. The lightning filled the sky. Nevertheless, she had no trouble falling asleep; it was late and she needed rest. Not long after, the room seemed warm. She thought to adjust the thermostat or turn on the fan, but not even a warm spell could fully disturb her slumber. Despite the warm temperature, her body was comfortable and at peace. She removed the top comforter, rolled over, and nuzzled into her soft bed.

When she awoke the next morning, only a remnant of the prior night’s storm remained. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, a new day had begun. As she looked around her room, she noticed the clock was blinking 4:37; evidence that the storm was indeed bad enough to cause the electricity to go out and return while she slept. She immediately thought of the warm spell which had attempted to disrupt her rest. “That must’ve been why I was so warm”, she thought. She then heard a soft whisper, Though the raging storm scare and even cause you discomfort, rest in Me. I will hide you in my arms and the storms of this world will not disturb your slumber. She was taken aback by such words of comfort and security.

Once again her Heavenly Father had used a storm to bring her a message of assurance, joy, and above all peace. He reminded her how “He made the storm be still” (Psalm 107:29) and, if she would seek Him as her refuge, He would be her ever shelter from the storm.

One Word



“Are You there?”


“Can You hear me?”


“I feel so alone.”


“Can You see me?”


“Do You love me?”


I feel so lost…”










“Thank You.”



“You want me to what? I don’t think I can do that.”

Why not?

“Well, that would be so pretentious of me.”

Even if I asked you to do it?

“It’s just so uncomfortable for me to brag on myself. I don’t think I am anything spectacular or impressive. You want to list my faults, I will give you a head start and even finish it off with some things you left out. I can do that no problem.”

Look at your wrist…

“My what?”

Your wrist. Do you see that?

“You mean my tattoo?”

Exactly! What does that verse  say?

“I know your deeds, your love and faith, your service and perseverance, and that you are now doing more than you did at first.” (Revelation 2:19 NIV)

You say that with such little emotion. I don’t think you get it, so let me say it a little differently…I see everything you’re doing for me. Impressive! The love and the faith, the service and persistence. Yes, very impressive! You get better at it every day (Revelation 2:19 MSG). This isn’t a ho-hum verse, be excited because I AM excited! Be impressed, because I AM impressed!!

“I don’t know. I just keep thinking ‘less of me, more of You’.”

I don’t think you get that saying either. Think less of yourself as in status not value. Just because you think less of yourself doesn’t make you any less.


I see a light bulb going off.

“I guess I just always thought if I said anything good about myself, then I would come across as conceited.”

There is a thin line, but you can boast about yourself and how far we’ve come. You can boast on the gifts I have given you and rejoice in the promises I have for you. That is not a sin. Plus, if you are boasting on the things I have done in your life, it doesn’t matter how it is perceived by others…Now, can you brag on yourself for me?

“Let’s see…there’s so much, I don’t even know where to start…” 🙂

I do

“Do you recall sleeping through that raging storm?”

Yes, Peter and the others were so worried over nothing.

“Yes, that one…”

What’s wrong?

“Well, I guess I feel like them…worrying over nothing, but like them, this ‘nothing’ sure does feel like something. And even if it is nothing, the storm is loud and scary and who knows how long it will last…”

I do.

“Yes, but I don’t.”

I told you it would last for a long time, but I also told you how it would end.

“I’m having trouble believing that.”

You mean, you are having trouble believing Me?

“No. That’s not what I meant.”

But it is and, although I know you didn’t mean it against Me, when you don’t believe something I told you, and you know in your heart to be true, you are not believing Me. 

“Oh…I’m so sorry! That’s so horrible of me. You’ve only been good and faithful to me. How could I doubt you?”

But you do.

“I do. I’m so sorry.”

Come here.

“What? No. How can I come close to You after all that? I sure wouldn’t want someone who doesn’t trust me to be near me?”

But I do.

Free to Dance – Day 16

She stood mesmerized by the lightning storm that filled the night sky. No rain. No streetlights. No car lights. Just lightning. Flashing continuously without a care. No rhythm. Just flashes of light.

As she gazed out, she felt His strong and warm arms pull her close to Him from behind. She loved His embrace. The lightning storm seemed brighter, stronger. Slightly more frightened, she drew deeper into His arms.

You seem so far away. More distant with each flash of lightning. Are you okay?

“I wonder if I could ever be as free as lightning? Free to dance wherever I pleased. Filling the dark sky with my brightness without a care of who I would disturb.” She replied.

The things that flow from that sweet mind of yours. So unique. Do you know that is why I love you?

She couldn’t see His face, but she could feel His smile through His words. She let out a small giggle and said, “only You could!’

You still believe that?

She didn’t reply. Both still amazed by the light show on display, He continued.

Your heart was never whole. The pain you are now feeling are the cracks being filled. The love you never felt, you are now feeling. The loss you never knew is now real. It was never my intention to hurt you.

But she was hurt…a strong ray of light flashed, filling the sky and penetrating her heart.

You may have held on too tight this time, but you will learn to hold with a looser grip. 

He could feel her trying to pull away, but He had to let her know how much He loved her.

Only I know the pain and scars you carry. I know it makes it difficult to trust, but you can trust Me.

Once He felt her struggle lessen, He pulled her close once again.

You can trust Me. Believe Me. I will never allow anything that would tear you down. Even if it hurts horribly, you will grow from it.

You question my motives, but I see the larger picture and the war down the road. The battles you will fight, will require you to fully trust in Me. You will need a full armor of what only I can give. Your life is a constant battle, but you are one of the few I can trust to handle such things.

I see your strength and perseverance. You are far better than you were yesterday. And tomorrow you will be better than you were today. Lean on Me. Trust in Me. Love on Me, but most importantly, let Me love on you! Be free to receive. Be free to let go. Be free in all you do…knowing if the joys of today are not the joys of tomorrow, it does not make them less joyful. There are new joys everyday!

Protect your heart, sweet one. The actions of today may prolong unnecessary pain. Pain I only intended for a short while. Please don’t extend it any longer than it needs to be. You know what to do to guard your heart. Just trust your heart because I live there. I will give you the wisdom you need. Just remain in Me and I will remain in you.

She no longer felt His arms around her, but she knew He hadn’t left her. She continued to stare at the flashing night sky. Now smiling because somehow she knew, the lightning wished it was as free to dance and to shine as bright as her heart did tonight!