Conversation with your “Skinny” Friend

“Girl, I am so out of shape. I have never been this heavy since I was pregnant with Jake. I feel so fat.”

“Oh my goodness. You are not fat. You have never been fat. You don’t even know what fat feels like.”

“Just because you don’t think I’m fat, doesn’t mean I’m not.”

Sigh with an eye roll

“I’m serious. Fat means ‘having a large amount of excess flesh’.”

“Exactly. I don’t see any excess flesh on your body. A little weight isn’t bad for you. You could use some weight.”

“Ok, but that does it mean I can’t be upset about it? Or be upset that it is only landing on my stomach and thighs where you don’t see?”

“Well if you ate better and exercised, you wouldn’t have anything to complain about. You have spent your entire life not having to worry about weight. You have no idea what it feels like to struggle with weight.”

“Is that what you think?”


“I have always been the ‘skinny’ friend. All of my life people have been telling me to enjoy being skinny because it won’t last forever. They said I would gain weight in college, or when I had a baby, or when I hit 25, 30, 35, 40…none of them were true. The most I have ever weighed was 138 lbs and I was 9 months pregnant.”

“See what I mean?”

“Do you see what mean?”


“You say I have never struggled with weight, yet my entire life, I have been seen — sometimes judged — by how skinny I am. People, a lot I don’t know, have something to say about my weight.”

“I think you’re making a big deal out of this.”

“Am I? If I told you, ‘Wow, you’re so obese. I bet you eat a lot and never exercise’…”

“Well, that would be rude.”

“Would it? Why?”

“Because you’re making assumptions about my body you…oh..”

“Yeah. ‘You’re making assumptions about…?’”

“…my body you have no idea about.”

“Right. Just because my struggle as a skinny person looks different than yours, doesn’t mean it’s less of a struggle.”

“I’m sorry. Let’s have a do-over…”

“LOL. Ok…Girl, I am so out of shape. I have never been this heavy since I was pregnant with Jake. I feel so fat.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way. I don’t think you’re out of shape or fat, but if you feel that way maybe I can help you be accountable for changing it. Maybe we can work out together.”

“Girl, I don’t need all that. I just wanted to complain about how fat and out of shape I am.”

“LOL. Ok, well if you do decide you want to start working out, I got you.”



I am the “skinny” friend and often wish I could have the do-over conversation instead of the prior one. Lately, I have been told I complain too much about my weight gain and should just eat better and exercise. I don’t know if I’ll eat better, but I did walk 4 miles today. It’s a record for me. I thought my Apple Watch was going to explode…

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