Month: July 2013

Like in the movies, you know?

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Originally posted as Facebook note on December 30, 2010. It is so amazing to see how my heart once cried out to be so madly in love with Jesus and, although I do not yet know the extent of His love for me, I have fallen for Him and He is all the Man I need!

I have been seeking, desperately craving for someone to love me before I love them. Someone who seeks me and professes their undying love for me. Like in the movies, you know?

And this morning, it hits me like a ton of bricks…I have that! There is Someone who loves me THAT much! Who sits by waiting for me to call on Him, to gush about Him, to dream of my future with Him! Why haven’t I seen it? Why have I been blinded by the imitation that this world keeps throwing at me? NOTHING COMPARES TO THE LOVE GOD HAS FOR ME!!! Nothing! No man, not my child, not my family, not my friends! My hopes and desires rest in Him and when I desperately fall in love with Him, like I have been so craving to do with someone on earth, nothing else will matter!!

A couple of nights ago during a Prayer and Praise, I heard a few people cry how much they loved God. To be honest, I thought it to be a bit weird. But now? Now, I am jealous of them! I want to fall madly, deeply in love with my Savior! With the One who loved me first, and professed His love for me on the cross! Like in the Bible, you know? 🙂

Just had to share!
In His Loving Arms,
Jen

Excerpt from Beth Moore’s study that caused my revelation: “You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you?” (Gal. 3:1). Who has made us think that all lesser loves which are mere shadows of God’s true love can feel while the greatest love for which the heart was created is not felt? It simply exists. We sing of it. We speak of it. But we do not feel it.

At the risk offending thousands of people, I will say again what the Spirit of God bellows in my soul: the bride of Christ suffers from lack of love for her Groom. She admires Him. She is grateful to Him. She’s been saved by Him. She is intellectually stimulated by Him. She loves her new clothes. She is enamored by the jewels. But she expected to feel love. Is it OK that she doesn’t? Is that normal?

The bride is suffering from post-deliverance depression. She expected to feel something. Is it OK that she doesn’t?

Bride of Christ, we must neither tolerate a lack of love in our souls nor let anyone convince us that it is normal not to feel love for God. The bride was created to love the Groom. Not only is a lack of love for God our heart’s most needless tragedy, loving God is our only recourse for divinely loving others.

Redeeming Love

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My birthday has always been a day where I am allowed to be selfish. I get to do what I want to do, to eat what I want to eat, not to mention, gifts! This morning I woke up with those same selfish emotions, but they were quickly extinguished as I walked out the door heading to work.

Walking out of the house, I saw that I had missed a call from my dad. As I listened to his singing and words, an overwhelming sense of love and joy penetrated my heart. What is so extraordinary about that is that I haven’t had the picture perfect relationship with my dad. For many years, anger and resentment had gathered in my heart creating a levee-like barrier which prevented me from seeing my dad as anything but a foe. The past couple of years, this levee had been springing leaks; and this morning, as I sat in my car, the levee broke. Everything that I had not allowed myself to feel for my dad came rushing out. It was overwhelming.

In hopes of regaining my composure, I began to read the birthday wishes posted on my Facebook page; unfortunately, I again started to weep. The composure I had regained was, indeed, short-lived. The words chosen to describe me were simply overpowering. Words such as “amazing”, “wonderful”, “godly”, “role model” were being used to describe me. The thought of me, a sinful woman, being described by such affirming words was inconceivable and impossible to fully process. The tears would not stop and my flawless make-up was now, well, flawed just like me. Any other day, I would have reveled in such compliments; but today, I felt sick, nauseous and completely inept. I was reminded of how none of those words could ever be used if it were not for Jesus. It is His character that radiates and what others are describing.

So, as my head continues to throb and my stomach continues to ache from all the tears shed, I will enjoy this day, not because it is my birthday and I have an excuse to be selfish; but because I have once again been overtaken by His redeeming love for me!

Life Altering

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Sometime in late 2011 or early 2012, the opportunity was offered for members from Thomasville Baptist Church in AL to participate in a mission trip to Zacapa, Guatemala. Each person who was sensitive to their desire to go either chose to pursue it or chose to ignore it. Some who had been to Guatemala were eager to return and others were eager to visit for the first time; either way each person had some kind of expectation of what was in store for them.

About a ten-hour drive away in Belleair Bluffs, FL, a mother and her son were also planning a trip to Zacapa, Guatemala. Unlike the TBC team who was only planning a one-week stay, this mother and son team were planning on staying for eight weeks. They packed all of the belongings they would need for their trip and either sold, donated, or stored everything else. They knew that upon their return from their summer adventure, they would be starting anew.

By divine intervention, these two teams met on July 14, 2012 in the Guatemala airport when the mother and son team, who had already been in the country for a month, would serve as translators for the TBC team. They had never met nor even knew that the other existed until that very moment. And at that moment, a ripple effect began.

Within a few days, a bond had developed, friendships were made, hearts were stirred and plans were being made. By the end of the week, the mother and son team were considering moving to Thomasville, AL. And a little over a month later, they did just that. Now, a year later, those friendship continue to develop, hearts are still being stirred and plans have been met and new ones are emerging.

In late 2011 or early 2012, both of these teams did not know the other existed. They did not know that their individual decisions to visit a town in Guatemala at a particular time would be the very encounter God would use to make His plan to come to fruition. Yet, in order for this plan to be realized, each individual needed to be sensitive and obedient to the impression made on their heart. Without either the sensitivity or the obedience, we are not certain as to how this story would have played out.

When making a decision, how often do we consider how it may affect the world of the people already in our lives? How about the people we haven’t even met yet? What if each of our decisions were a piece to a much bigger plan? Although we can never be sure what sort of impression our decisions will make,  we can be certain that at any given time, any of of our decisions can be life altering.

Never Ceasing to Amaze

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Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor [Trouble] a door of hope. There she will respond [sing] as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. – Hosea 2:14-15

I have once again fallen, my Lord. Fallen away from You and instead of leaving me to rot, You have lifted me up, [once again] washed me with the blood of Jesus, and caused me to sing as I did in the days of my youth and innocence. You will never desert me. You will never be disgusted or ashamed of me. You are proud to call me Your own.

You transform my valley of trouble into a door of hope. Yet, as You take me by the hand and guide me into the wilderness I expect words of reproach, but instead You speak tenderly to me returning to me what I have so frivolously given away. Thank You for loving me as You do! You can take the worst places and turn them into beauty. After so many times of running away from You, You still continue to allure me back into Your arms. I praise you for mercy that never ceases nor never ceases to amaze me! You are my One True Love!